08: and we're back!

One week of detoxing, recipe/ingredient suggestions, some Big Feelings, a eulogy delivered by my mother, plus, for those who make it to the end, a capsule wardrobe at varying price points.

If you missed my note last week, here’s the deal: every year I do five days of the Goop Annual Detox (this year it was the 2024 edition, as 2025’s isn’t out yet). I clean out my closet. I exercise (or plan to). I go to the spa. And I generally just hit reset on the shit storm that was the previous year (it was a great year). I started first thing on January first while most of my industry was still off or posting their various vacation pictures, and went all the way until Sunday evening.

Here’s the result:

some of the meals made during detox week :)

FOOD

• I feel great. My stomach and overall body is less inflamed, I feel rested, and my skin is glowing (thought that might be the retinol I just started using…more on that later).

• My flexibility in schedule probably made doing this detox a lot easier. GP prescribes no caffeine or sugar (or alcohol, but that’s just the whole month of January for me) for the duration of five days, which, if you have met me, is a near impossible task. I experienced mild withdrawal symptoms and a blistering headache for the first three days, which subsided into mental clarity by the fourth, resulting in sweet, self-generated energy by the fifth. However, In lieu of caffeine, I slept for at least ten hours each night. That’s borderline too much sleep. If you’re doing this, allow a lot of time for rest. Vacation days are great for this.

• A few have asked me whether I’ll keep up this detox after the five days. Absolutely not. A lot of my social activities revolve around food and drink - I love trying new restaurants, and I love the taste of wine. And cheese. Perhaps I’ll lay off the Vespers for a moment, but I love a warm and convivial dinner with friends and a glass of wine. What I am doing is being a lot more picky about when/where/with whom I choose to go out. Restaurants are the best, but after eating out of home nearly every day in December, the excitement surrounding going out to eat was tarnished. My resolve is to try go to only one restaurant a week (for dinner), and to divert any other social plans to cooking at home.

• When I’m home alone, I absolutely will be cooking detox style.

• There are a few recipes/ingredients in the detox that, if you’re trying it out yourself, you can forego/change:

  • gem lettuce: I think this is just a side option for the classic chicken salad

  • cucumber: get one, not two

  • Protein Power bites: I didn’t make these at all, instead opting for a date stuffed with almond butter or one of the other snack options. This saves you from buying protein powder and desiccated coconut

  • Seeded crackers: you only really need one batch, not two

  • Lemon caper dressing: this is incredible, make at least four batches and then some

  • The recipe for the Winter Salmon bowl calls for marinating the fish overnight - I don’t know if this just creates ceviche (correct me if I’m wrong), but I preferred the following marinade (my mum’s recipe) over Goop’s herb version: 1/4 cup olive oil, pinch of sea salt, 3 tbsp gluten free tamari, 2 scallions sliced, 1/2 piece ginger, 1 clove garlic crushed (marinate for 30 mins). I also roasted the fish separately from the vegetables so that I could ensure both were cooked the way I liked. I roasted the vegetables together at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 40 minutes, and the salmon for 15 minutes at the same temperature

  • I would swap the timing of the breakfast bone broth with whatever happens to be listed as a snack. I personally don’t love intermittent fasting and need a filling breakfast if I’m foregoing coffee

  • Chickpea Miso soup: I just used my bone broth that I’d made so very much of instead of mineral broth to save time and money (kombu is like $10)

My favourite recipes from this cleanse were: the blueberry ginger smoothie, everyday shaved kale and brussels salad (very pleasantly surprised by this), winter salmon bowl, and the chicken bowl with garlic vegetables.

EXERCISE

• While I felt great, I certainly didn’t feel like I had any energy for anything other than low impact exercise such as Pilates. And I only managed that for two days because I kept sleeping in past 9am and had things to do.

• 10 000 steps/day…certainly didn’t happen. I refused to do this in my building’s basement gym, and I simply couldn’t bring myself to confront the frigid cold alone. I attribute this more to the Toronto climate rather than reduced energy levels during the Goop detox.

• Overall, not my best go at movement, but I think I needed to pause. I’m not mad!

• Slightly unrelated to this category, but I completely forgot how much lymphatic drainage makes you sleep. I loved my (very expensive but very relaxing) LPG Endermologie treatment at Four Seasons. I even got to wear That White Suit!

That White Suit!

CLEANING

The apartment cleaning went great until I started cleaning out my closet. I clear things out on a monthly basis (at least), but have never really gone in-depth to try on every item on and determine whether it still served a purpose.

I have spent the entirety of my twenties taking photos for social media - I am confronted with my image daily and how I appear on screen becomes some form of currency that allows me to do this full time. I’m especially lucky, but terribly vain. It stems down to the very real threat that there is an expiry date on my image, and thus my career (I know this is outdated and that I am still very young, but there’s still the very real fixation on Eternal Youth). Though I don’t plan on doing Botox or fillers, I’m bombarded daily with the proposition of an “easy fix”.

I started trying on pieces and at first it was fun! There were many gems I’d forgotten about - a lot of it looked incredible. And then there were other pieces that I loved so dearly, but didn’t quite fit anymore. Take, for example, this red Réalisation dress:

She was part of the Claudia Schiffer collection a few years back and was the perfect red silk number. I’d bought a size up and tailored it perfectly to my 23-year-old body. Of course it wouldn’t fit anymore. In the four years since alteration, I’ve since sprouted something magical called hips. But in the moment, this felt like a huge blow to my ego. How dare it not fit! I was supposed to party in this dress right up until childbirth.

I felt - how do I say - sad. With myself. It’s crazy how my first instinct was to revert to self-sabotaging intrusive thoughts. “If I didn’t go to all those holiday parties, the dress would still fit”. “If I just ran every day, it would be fine”. The underlying truth with all of that is that it’s just not true in the slightest. I am still very young! But I have built so much strength, can also hip thrust 185 lbs, and can and carry more weight than I’d ever imagined. And I love to go out with my friends - for someone who grew up with more time spent in the dance studio than socializing with school friends, friendships and going out at night feels novel and exciting to me in my late twenties, and that’s my priority. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

My mum’s way of showing love is through acts of service. She’s not one to casually say, “I love you,” because she knows that her actions speak volumes in comparison. To her, you are the sum of your behaviour - what you speak is not an affirmation of anything. I respect that. However, it also makes the times she does state anything outright loving all the more meaningful, perhaps because it is so rare. I trust that it’s true. So when I texted her in tears about my changing physique, she provided this gem of wisdom:

Truly, some of the wisest words I’ve heard of late. For anyone who needs it, love how you look today, and look forward to all that your capable body will guide you through.

All that to say, clearing out my closet made me really consider what exactly I wore most. It’s entirely impossible given my work, but if I had to narrow down my closet to the uniform that I constantly gravitate towards, it would be the following capsule wardrobe that I’ve put together. I’ve been meaning to put together a capsule wardrobe - let’s say uniform - for the season to make winter dressing a little easier, so consider this my formal submission.

The uniform is divided into two levels in terms of price points. I encourage you to mix and match if/where possible - the higher price point is not just a matter of label, but of quality and the piece’s capability to last past a single season. For each individual, the amount invested on a category of item will certainly vary depending on priorities, hence the suggestion to pull items from each tier according to what best suits your needs/what you wish to repurchase less frequently.

I own each piece in the first version - I’ve invested my own money into many of these pieces and can vouch for their quality. However, there are a few SKUs that are no longer available that I’ve replaced with close matches. Nothing in either version is necessarily “cheap”.

Without further ado:

WINTER CAPSULE WARDROBE I

Tops:

• Flore Flore Esme tank tops in white and black: these have the perfect coverage and are the perfect length without bunching too much at any pant hem. They are super flattering for arms.

• SESSEI oversized t-shirt: I love the quality of this t-shirt.

• Leset pointelle shirt: anything pointelle I find nostalgic, and this stands alone well or makes a great layering piece under the following sweaters;

• Jenni Kayne Amelia sweater: I own numerous iterations of this perfectly draping knit, in different materials and colours. The one I gravitate most towards is my black cashmere version - it looks like The Row Ophelia and has lasted me multiple years. I size up.

• Lauren Manoogian Open Cardigan: I love the structure of the knit. It feels like I haven’t left my bed and is incredibly warm. Plus, the integrated pockets and overall yarn density always garner compliments. This Naked Cashmere version is similar.

Bottoms:

• Still Here Everyday Jeans: no I literally wear these every day. They fit true to size.

• The Row Gala pant: I hate that these are good.

• Line by K Eliza Skirt: I have multiple long black skirts, again in different fabrications, but most - if not all - are a column silhouette. I also have this specific skirt in multiple colours.

Outerwear:

• Almada Mara coat: This feels like a warm hug, and for colder days I layer it with a liner jacket (Uniqlo has great options)

Shoes:

• Toteme Slim Ankle Boots: So comfortable, so walkable, so easy. I wear them almost every day.

• Dear Frances Cade Boot: For a more casual look and for stomping around. I love how these are a shorter biker boot and are less bulky.

Accessories:

• Bottega Veneta intrecciato hobo bag: I prefer a vintage version. These can be found easily on Vestiaire or The Real Real, but be careful of imposters. I bought mine years ago for <$1000, and they’ve doubled in value since then. Some favourites are here, here, and here.

• Dehanche belt: I feel like the Hollyhock style is hard to find, but Holt Renfrew has quantities!

• Lié Studio Caroline earrings: I wear these almost every day, have fallen asleep in them, experience no irritation, and always get asked about them.

WINTER CAPSULE WARDROBE II

Tops:

• J. Crew classic pullover: size up for a fit similar to the Jenni Kayne Amelia.

• Aritzia Busy Tank: this is the perfect scoop neckline - a diversion from the Flore Flore Esme but a solid look nonetheless.

• Cou Cou Intimates Henley: I know this isn’t that much less than the Leset version. Both are great. I do think that the Leset offers a softer white than Coucou, but I wear them both equally. For Coucou, I recommend sizing up.

Bottoms:

• Aritzia Marlo jean: slightly baggier than the Still Here jeans, these also look incredible sized up and low slung. My favourite colourway is the Kiss and Tell Blue.

• Leset Lauren Pocket Pant: dare I say these even one-up the Gala because they have pockets.

• Line by K Eliza Skirt: this is the same. I couldn’t find anything less expensive that was as good/still available.

Outerwear:

• COS Double-Faced Wool Coat: I’ve had an early edition of this COS coat since 2019. It’s lasted me all these years, it’s still in my closet, and I still wear it. Size up (you might want to even size up 2 times) so that you can wear a thick sweater or even layer an extra puff under on cold days.

Shoes:

• Aeyde Black Sofie boots: I love this brand so much. They aren’t necessarily budget per se, but they make incredible shoes that last a long time with good care. They were the first shoe brand I invested in with my first corporate paycheque. I still have my first pair.

• Maguire Palermo boots: I love this more delicate edition of a combat boot - paired with any of the bottoms listed above will create a more masculine/sturdy look without compromising softness.

Accessories:

• Large Ralph Lauren Polo ID bag: I love this bag so much. It is still very much an investment piece, but I have a navy suede version that I adore. The Polo ID has copious carrying capabilities and is discreet enough to pair with and elevate any look.

• Aeyde Leona belt: Before investing in my Déhanche belt, I wore this Aeyde belt religiously. The hardware is beautiful - the gold version isn’t too gold either, and I recommend it if you prefer to mix metals.

• Pilgrim Intent Teardrop earrings: I love the Pilgrim pieces I have and am frankly shocked at the price.