A case for solo travel

You've heard of ballet-core and mermaid-core, but how about solo-core?

Cala Deia

“I’m going alone to a wedding in Lake Como for someone I met two years ago, and I don’t know anyone else there.”

This is what I’ve been telling people for the past few months, receiving responses varying from shock to awe to assurances of my bravery. In my rational brain I’m terrified, but in my heart all I can think of is how wild an opportunity this is. Something crazy is going to happen!

I’m lucky to travel a lot more than the average person. I am away for work a lot, and growing up my parents prioritized taking my sister and I to places we’d never been. We were very fortunate to be able to do this, and it left me engrained with the importance of putting myself out of my comfort zone.

The thing is, a lot of the travel I do is solo. And while I love a week or so travelling with friends, I also like hanging out with myself and seeing what’s possible when I’m on my own. Am I the most street smart individual out there? No. But I’ve worked long enough to have friends in all sorts of places that I can call on for help if needed, and am extraverted enough to strike up a conversation with strangers.

I’m really not sure why people feel wary of solo travel, or will wait for someone else before visiting a destination that’s been on their bucket list for a while (unless safety is the reason. Some places truly aren’t the best for people to travel solo). I understand the value of sharing experiences with others. But if you’re just not usually alone with your own thoughts or are the type of person that needs to go to the bathroom in twos - well, the reward that comes from travelling alone is beyond compare.

The backstory: I’m a high risk, high reward person - I left my cozy 9-to-5 for the unpredictability and instability of the social media world. I thrive on constant but low stress levels (it helps if you re-frame it as motivation), and I especially thrive being put in novel situations. Adaptable, if you will, sometimes to my detriment (that’s another story).

While some of this might come naturally, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s always easy. Let’s circle back to the wedding for a second. In Lake Como. Guests were shuttled from Milan to a secret venue. Within seconds of arriving at the pickup point, I feel a lump in my throat and a sudden urge to run away, call in sick. It fully sinks in that I know nobody, that everyone else seems to know someone, and that I hear at least three different languages, none of them English. When I finally do hear something I understand I immediately turn to the speaker and say, “Hi. I’m going to join you because I can actually understand what you’re saying.” And suddenly I feel a lot better, if only for a little while.

The next curveball - I hear one woman who raises her eyebrows at my dress and says, “do we still wear black to a wedding?” (I’m wearing black). Normally at home this wouldn’t bother me, but in this moment my once assured confidence is obliterated and we’re back to square one. I’m texting my parents, my friends, my sister, all with panicked messages of “What am I doing here? I am sitting on a bus next to a stranger - a man stranger! - what do I do? I think I’m overdressed? I feel very uncomfortable!”

I’m going to make this long story short and tell you that there is always at least one other person in this exact situation, and you must find them. And I did. Whether you are dining or drinking alone, at an event alone, etc., someone else is too. By the end of the night (and after a few glasses of champagne) I had made a few new friends, debated the future of AI with a multi-millionaire, danced with total strangers, and watched a dear friend marry the love of her life. The high I felt was incomparable to anything I’d felt before, and certainly a memory I’ll hold on to for the rest of my life.

The last week of my trip, where I was travelling alone in Europe, is full of these stories. Going to bars solo, going on day trips to small towns alone, taking myself for long dinners. I’m grateful for the conversations I’ve had with people around the world - it’s shown me that there are, indeed, a lot of good people out there - but I’m most appreciative of what these solo experiences taught me about myself. Travelling solo made me confront my likes, dislikes, and process deeply uncomfortable emotions all on my own. It permitted me to accept and relish in the small victory that I’m tougher than I think, and it allowed me to take breaks when I needed to in order to truly let my brain slow down. Coming home I feel a little different, in a good way.

On that note, here’s where I went and what I recommend.

MALLORCA

Palma:

• Bar la Sang: maybe the best natural wine bar I’ve ever been to

• Cala Blava (small, secluded beach just a short drive out of town)

• Stay: HM Balenguera (Palma stays are so expensive and frankly quite mediocre. I’ve airbnb’d it and loved it, but can no longer find the link. I recommend staying in/up around the Santa Catalina neighbourhood rather than directly downtown)

Soller:

• Stay: Meem Townhouse (I’ve been here multiple times and it’s a very special place. Incredible breakfast, and wine and cake in the afternoon)

• Food/Drinks:

  • Patiki Beach (Port de Soller)

  • Io Gelats Artisans (Port de Soller)

  • Bar Turismo (fun, cash only, locals)

• Cala Deia (close by rock beach)

• Valldemossa (go outside the city centre and just look at the houses)

MILAN

I truly didn’t stay here for more than 48 hours and I was there for a wedding, so the list is brief

• Stay: Bulgari hotel (I mean, that’s just where I stayed)

• Villa Necchi

• Marchesi 1824

LISBON

• Stay: Santa Clara 1728 (best three course breakfast I’ve ever had. What a special thing to enjoy every morning)

• Eat:

  • Boavista Social Club (listening bar with good food, and anything on this street is pretty incredible)

  • Bar Alimentar

  • Comida Independente (great wine bar)

  • Tabernita (Right across Santa Clara. No one speaks English. It’s awesome.)

  • Manteigaria

• Visit Sintra!

• There’s a market outside Santa Clara 1728 every Saturday that is so much fun

I’ll leave you with this: my mother sends me an insane number of reels and various cheesy (yet heartfelt!) Instagram quotes daily. But one of them stood out to me, and it said something along the lines of, “I love people that just go and wait for no one. The solo travelers, the people that go to bars and the beach alone. Life will pass you by waiting to always have someone to go places with you.” I find boundless joy in self-discovery and power in my independence. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate sharing moments with others. But putting yourself out there alone is hard, and it is so worth it.