A friend and I were at dinner at Contrada and were discussing the topic of trying. Specifically, how society seems to fault women for “looking like they’re trying.” How many times have you heard “they’re trying too hard,” or called someone cringe for putting themselves out there?
I can only speak as a woman, but it seems that we more often than not take pride in making things look effortless. I am so at fault for this - the way I dress is often described as “effortless chic,” (which don’t get me wrong, I take it as the highest compliment. I’m interested in why this is a complement). I’ve been described as elegant, graceful (though in reality I’m quite clumsy), classy. At ease. My ballet training contributes significantly - we’re taught to be athletes from the waist down, artists in the upper body. We are taught to float, levitate, fly, and do it all with a smile on our faces and a lithe physique.
My interpretation of this is two-ended. With a flick of the wrist, a casual gesture, a nonchalant gaze, an attitude of grace affords the ability to bend the world to one’s will without being found out. It’s magical, powerful in a way. But then there’s the other end, where we see people putting themselves out there, doing things we might typically condone as “cringey.” If you really think about it, we call things cringey because whatever it is typically reveals a lack of shame, privacy, savoir-faire, regard for status quo, inhibition - whatever you want to call it - for the means of personal gain (whether this is in fame, money, etc.). The accusation is a double edged sword - on one hand we could critique the strive for capitalistic gain (and do we really want to go there?), yet there’s nothing natural or authentic about the critic’s own disposition, especially if they sway in favour of the aforementioned effortless attitude.
I’ve been grappling with the meaning that surrounds my work for a while now - it feels challenging to describe the work that I do, purely out of anticipation for the judgmental “oh” in response. But why is it that we so normalize and accept the hustle within conventional corporate culture - putting yourself out there for promotions, taking risks, etc. - and are quick to judge a little bit more in the world of social media? Maybe I’m just feeling this a little bit more deeply because I’m exposed to the creative world much more, but that’s just something that’s occupied a little too much brain space. Is it because everyone is an influencer now, and we love to gatekeep?
Clearly, I haven’t really reached any conclusions here. But I will say the dinner discussion ended on the following sentiment: someone out there, who is less qualified than you, is doing your dream job. The only thing that separates you from them is that they had the guts to put themselves out there and do it. Just some food for thought next time someone posts a clothing haul or voiceover video.
ANYWAY. That’s not why we’re here!
I went down a Vestiaire rabbit hole and rounded up my favourite vintage (and some non-vintage) kitten heels. This was spurred by a recent visit to VSP, where there were so many sweet kitten heels in size 9.5, which is far too big for me, but received an overwhelmingly positive response from my 9/9.5 girlies. I am no professional sourcer, no Millenial Decorator (love you Julia!), but thought I’d share some (BY SOME I MEAN 58) steals I’ve found on my own.
And for my regular subscribers who noticed the pay wall - I have started to write more newsletters throughout the month, and this takes up a significant portion of my time. For example, this newsletter took me between 5-7 hours to create. My roundup newsletters can take an entire work week to create. The amount of a subscription per month is less than a single cup of coffee, and can also be expensed as market research for those working in the creative industry. While I would love for content to be free for the sake of being free, I pour my heart into creating something special beyond the content you see for free on Instagram. Any and all support is appreciated, and my free subscribers will still have access to a monthly recap newsletter. Thank you for being here!
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