Small talk!

This is the May newsletter!

My friend told me I had to start my newsletter like that. So I did. And it sounds really funny read aloud and somewhat silly (I guess this is subjective. If your voice isn’t funny then I’m really sorry). It says, “why am I doing this!”, “why are we here?”, and most of all, “what the fuck!” Which, I guess, is my mood as of late.

Anyway.

I’ve had far too many a conversation about how ungrateful and, frankly, irritating, the whole “woe is me” soliloquy becomes when recycled continuously. It gets old, people! On that note I’d like to issue a formal apology for my incessant lamenting and languishing in last month’s newsletter. I didn’t mean to have a pick-me attitude. The primary message I merely wanted to convey was that you simply won’t catch me in some plain outfit this summer simply because life is too short (I say, as I write this wearing my bathrobe. But don’t worry, it’s Tekla!). Nobody’s perfect, or however the age old truism stands.

Call it insecurity, call it social anxiety, call it too many damn events - April was a month of feeling especially bizarre in social situations. Allow me to note: this is less a reflection of any brands or people hosting things, but rather one on myself for coming to a complete loss of conversation. Or contribution to conversation. Whatever. I’ve noticed a shift towards social burnout on my end.

For context: I talk a lot. I can dust off my PR hat and be engaging and chatty and bridge most awkward conversations, be a mediator between strangers. I truly enjoy it! But as of late, I find myself tired and retiring to the back seat in order to observe the interactions around me - it’s uncharacteristic for me, but being a fly on the wall provides ample insight on human behaviour. A field study, of sorts.

What I’ve observed:

Small talk is sapping.

We ask the question, “What are you working on?” far too often. I had a lovely conversation with a friend of mine working in PR earlier this year; she explained how she recently vowed never to ask the question again. Instead, she asks the most interesting questions and is one hell of a conversationalist to boot. This got me thinking - I get this question all the time, and I’m sure I’m not alone. It’s a default, a reflex to an industry so little understood and centred about unfettered competition. The typical response I have to this type of question, simply because I couldn’t be bothered to go into the intricacies of what I actually am working on (such as this newsletter, various Instagram things, the next supper club…but also recovering from injury, maintaining friendships…do you have an hour for me to ramble about myself?), nor does anyone actually care, is “oh, not much.” Which is such a blatant lie that it’s silly. Or I end up revealing just a little too much, out of fear for silence.

One usually asks the questions in a manner of general passivity, a format not dissimilar to a patient round at a hospital - check the boxes, get the question out of the way, the answers merely a benchmark for general and overall well-being. Nothing personal, no connection. My response is rote: a spark notes overview of the last thing I shot supplemented with a transitory comment of how much I’m looking forward to vacation, so as to hopefully usher the conversation away from work. Or, you know, “not much.” Reactions are, habitually, some iteration of well-done or that-is-so-nice. Sooooooo niiiiiiice. Thank you so much.

Is there any way to be less surface, more resonant? Can we steer the focus away from how we make money? How about, “what are you doing lately? Anything you’re looking forward to?” This truly could be conflated with the former questioning format; the difference is that it comes from a place genuine interest rather than jealousy or competitiveness disguised as genial intrigue. I crave further conversation, a back-and-forth, to segue beyond the work realm and other small talk into something, perhaps, more meaningful.

Also, I’ve learned that a basic knowledge of reality television (specifically, any iteration of the Housewives franchise or some form of dating show) is an asset.

Speaking of meaningful, I’m delighted to report a number of meaningful purchases this past month. Though my bank card deserves a respite, I’m all the more excited to wear nice things to nice (and equally, not so nice) places and make the mundane an occasion. You know, beauty in the banal and all that art boi crap.

1. What I’m eyeing/buying

• I make a lot of my best purchases when slightly inebriated. It’s a vice I’ve decided to lean into. My latest purchase is this incredible skirt and top set from Beaufille - the shade of baby blue was too perfect to simply pass up, and it successfully passed a test run to EQ3’s recent spring preview dinner. It’s truly fitting for upcoming wedding seasons, save for the inability to raise my arms above my shoulders (unless one wears a show-worthy bralette or other related undergarment). But the benefits outweigh any hindrances, and this look is guaranteed to make you feel like a butterfly. Might I suggest this as a rehearsal dinner outfit?

• My panache for long skirts continues with a few more additions to my closet: I’m utterly shocked that this long denim number from Reformation hasn’t sold out yet. I’ve paired it with this linen top for good measure. Note: I sized down for this skirt.

• For those craving the silhouettes and muted palette and energy embodied by Paloma Wool without the price tag, look no further than Brooklyn-based brand Woodrose Deli. I was pleasantly surprised to see that the price tags per piece in their latest Spring Collection remain under USD$200, and the fit and quality of each surpasses expectations. Take, for example, this top. Does this piece mark my foray into the art of the slink? Picture a dark bar or some gastronomical setting, you glide - nay, slink - into the room (does slink imply a discreet yet unattractive entrance? Is my imagination getting the better of me? I’m trying to go for sultry rather than serpentine here, though some might say the two could intersect?). You order an old fashioned. The bartender raises his eyebrows, the attractive gentleman at the bar chokes on his drink. The world is yours. Pair with this skirt, or something more bitter, depending on your mood.

• Here is the link for the coat. You know the coat. The striped denim trench. The perfect piece with sleeves that scrunch just so. You’ll thank me later. And happy light trench season, to all those who celebrate.

• I’m dying to get my hands on a piece by NYC-based designer Michelle Del Rio. Her work is evocative of languid summer evenings, effortless and eclectic grace, and deeply personal, with objects and other bits of flotsam woven into her pieces to create something divine. While clothing appears publicly unavailable on her site, I am deeply considering a bespoke Catalonia belt to accompany a myriad of long skirt pairings.

• I rank shoes in terms of whether they make me want to shake and sing “I Love Hot Nights.” This is far too niche a reference to really be understood, I know, but roll with it. All this to say that the Lorca boots from Maguire are BACK and they are ready for all the hot nights ahead. I got mine in a dark chocolate brown. Wear irresponsibly.

2. On beauty

• This is the summer of NUDESTIX. Zoe Kravitz loves it, Sophia Richie wore it on her wedding day (and is, furthermore, the appointed Beauty Director for the brand. Can I ask what this entails and how I can obtain this role once she moves on with her career?). Recently launched is a cool shade version of their Sunkissed Nudies Bronze stick, and - though I am hesitant to use this phrase, here it goes - obsessed is an understatement. I know the brand prescribes this as a bronzer, yet I find it acts as an antidote to just about all of my ailments. That is, to say, I use it as a blush and general, all-over flush of colour.

• The new Le Blanc products from Chanel are straight out of a 90’s nostalgic dream. I hate that this is the sole comparison I can think of, but the sleek, soft packaging is reminiscent of your favourite childhood hard candy reminds me of the Old Prada Beauty packaging circulating the internet (save for the intense amount of waste that comes from the Old Prada single use packaging…the Le Blanc foundation is, in fact, refillable).

• Most lipsticks defined as “nude” or “natural” simply don’t work for me, and that’s a fact. Something about my skin tone is simply not compatible with the iconic names: Pillowtalk, Boy, Velvet Teddy. It’s frankly tragic. I’ve tried them all, and despite persuasive e-commerce photos of lip colours on skin tones that look like mine, the minute I try it on, my lips look two-dimensional. For context, Clinique’s iconic Black Honey, to me, is a neutral lip shade. Perhaps my definition of neutral is skewed, BUT. Think Liv Tyler in LOTR (who reportedly used Black Honey, according to reddit) - I want my lips to look juicy, bitten, and a little better than normal. After years of copious sampling and swatching (I’ll go ahead and term this “lip service), here are my favourite neutral lip shades:

  • Clinique Black Honey, of course

  • Chanel Rouge Coco Baume in Sweet Treat

  • Glossier Generation G lipstick in Fuzz

  • Rouge Hermès in Beige Croisette

  • Nudestix Matte Lipstick Pencil in Nude Rose

• Texture is very important to me. Texture is an ongoing struggle of mine. Me, myself, and I are nostalgic for baby faced skin days of yore. However, my reactive skin seems to flare up at anything that says “acid”: glycolic, salicylic, alphahydroxy, etc. Whenever I’m feeling a little congestion or buildup (that is, to say, twice a week at the most), I splash (intentionally and carefully) the Caudalie Vinoperfect Glycolic Brightening Essence on my face. While Glycolic acid is the hero ingredient, I get no tingling or redness (unlike most other products). I just want to say that Caudalie doesn’t market this product enough. This essence, and the entire Vinoperfect line, is doing wonders for the acne scars and little bumps.

4. On food

No new recipes of my own to report this month, unfortunately. Instead, allow me to highlight the wonderful things I’ve been cooking and eating and looking forward to eating.

I am so late to the Alison Roman bandwagon, but consider me a devotee. I bought Nothing Fancy about a month ago and have been slowly (but steadily!) working my way through. So far, favourites include: spicy marinated anchovies with potato chips, tomatoes dressed in toasted fennel and anchovy, just cooked cabbage, creamy cauliflower gratin, frizzled chickpeas. I guess that’s most of what I’ve made so far, but you get it. Buy this book.

On a sudden sugar whim, I made Molly Baz’ Olive Oil cake and it was a winner. Do I think it’s the moistest olive oil cake I’ve ever had? No, because I had an even moister one yesterday. BUT I do declare this the most complex one I’ve had flavour-wise and a little on the fluffier end. Perhaps I could’ve added more oil. Perhaps I could have properly covered the cake instead of leaving it in the open (I am new to this baking thing). Nevertheless, I made this with sour cream (though labneh would be incredible), and cara cara oranges because I think grapefruits are truly mediocre on the citrus scale.

Enough about citrus. I’m feeling herbaceous. HERB’S THE WORD. And speaking of herbs, I’ve been craving a light and comforting risotto (which, I realized, is just Italian congee). The main issue I have with herbs is that grocery stores sell them in justifiably gargantuan portions, yet recipes call for some silly amount. Like 1/4 cup. Come on. The remaining herbs tend to remain neglected in my fridge and wilt within a few days. It’s a travesty.

Enter this delicious risotto from NYT cooking, which proved an excellent means to use up any medley of tender herbs lying around. Top with a copious amount of parmigiana and a squeeze of lemon juice, and you have a simple, healthy, and hearty comfort dish.

5. On music

I’ve put together not one, but two playlists this month. Both are fairly random and potentially incoherent. The usual monthly playlist is a compilation of the songs I’ve recently liked and have been playing somewhat constantly:

The second may only make sense to me, but I felt compelled to share anyway. I’m just so generous, I know! What we have here is a playlist of all the songs I enjoy running to, in no particular order. It is, frankly, all over the place. Some days I need Fred Again, others I need pop country. I don’t know how to make sense of it either. But if you’d like something to keep you at that 170bpm cadence, here’s a sampler (fondly named after the next run I’ll be participating in):